Sologamy Poem: Venus of Abyssal Seas

Poem & Photo by Ghia Vitale

Art Effects by Pixlr E

​In case you haven’t heard already, I married myself on Samhain (Halloween) of October 31, 2023. My self-marriage ritual is the result of sologamy, or the practice of marrying yourself. During my self-marriage ritual, I read “Venus of Abyssal Seas”. I wrote and dedicated this poem to Venus and Astaroth, the goddess of love and demon who blessed my self-marriage.

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​Sologamy looks different for everyone, but one thing remains constant: committing to treating yourself just as well as you would treat a significant other. Since I am autosexual and autoromantic (sexually and romantically attracted to myself), my self-love includes loving myself sexually and romantically. So, I decided to commit to myself with a self-marriage ritual that involved invoking Venus and Astaroth, then asking them to bless my relationship with myself. I wanted both of them present at my self-marriage ritual because both of them have profoundly changed how I love and relate to myself and others. I read this poem during my ritual to honor both of them, especially since both of them inspired it in different ways. I truly can’t thank them enough for all the help they’ve given me. I wrote this poem in the spirit of gratitude to express my love for both of them.

Many people marry themselves to commit to providing themselves with the love, respect, and care they’d otherwise reserve for another person. I am autosexual and autoromantic, so my version of self-love has sexual and romantic dimensions. That’s not the case for all sologamists, but it certainly is for me! So, I wanted to honor my self-love by marrying myself during a ritual on Samhain, my favorite day of the year. I also wanted to show other people that they, too, can marry themselves.

Without further ado, here is the poem I read during my ritual:

Venus of Abyssal Seas

Venus of abyssal seas
whose currents rage on as you please,
you’re a keeper of depths and dreams
and a reaper of deaths and screams.

You see through the eyes of a storm -
Wherever you look, maelstroms form.
Twisting tentacles cascade down
from your jagged coral reef crown.

You are the darkness from which we emerge.
You are the last breath of a seaside dirge.
Your influence resides in pulsing tides
with which all of mortality collides.

Your will made the Mariana Trench split.
You know where the vastest oceans sit.
The secrets of your dark divinity
are as limitless as infinity.

The moon gazes upon you with such awe
at all of the life you harbor and gnaw.
You ebb and flow with such a seismic grace,
your energy exceeds both time and space.

The forces of life and death quickly meet
whatever your waters ensnare or eat.
You compel us to the deepest abyss
and that’s where we receive your final kiss.

Thank you for reading! Thank you to Venus and Astaroth for this poem as well as attending my self-marriage ritual. Take care!