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3-4 a.m. Is YOUR Prime Time for Black Magic
By Paisley Hibou
We get it—You're wide awake because you feel some supernatural urges stirring in your soot colored soul. Honestly, we've all been there. It's hard to sleep when you're electrified with black magic. Inside of resisting, you might as well give in to the call of the witching hour. Feeling lame because you're all alone and have nobody to be witchy with? It's okay, really. You're still cool, even if you're flying solo. In fact, you're probably cooler because you're flying solo. But if you feel self-conscious about it, here are 7 perfectly normal things to do when you're alone at the witching hour:
1. Summoning all of your ancestors to curse someone who wronged you. Especially your great-aunt Judith. She was always so deliciously vindictive.
2. Counting all the newt eyes in the jar on your nightstand. It's important to have enough in stock at all times. You never want to run out in the middle of a spell.
3. Talking to the penis pet in the vitrine under your bed. Tell it whatever you want.
4. Recharging your wands in the moonlight. They don't have batteries for those things.
5. Singing with your menagerie of frogs and toads. Their vocal range is pretty spectacular.
6. Trying on all of your black velvet dresses. Make sure they still fit your enchanting figure. Otherwise, conjure the Great Ghost Tailor!
7. Snack on some illuminated herbs. The sparkly kind are another perfectly acceptable witching hour snack.
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