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MAGA Supporters—Villains & Losers
By Paisley Hibou
In a battle between Good and Evil, who would win—dragons or MAGA supporters? Dragons, of course! They're much kinder and purer in spirit, and therefore deserving of their happily ever after. They'd even share their victory with others. MAGA supporters are too selfish for that. We turned to a recent Rolling Stone gift guide for MAGA supporters to do some research on these foes. Here are four reasons why dragons would triumph over the red-capped villains in any fight:
1. Dragons can fly. MAGA supporters just have these hideous capes:
2. Dragons can read up on battle strategy (and anything else they desire.) MAGA supporters are barely literate.
3. Dragons can overcome any wall. MAGA supporters only build them in their dreams.
4. Dragons guard real treasures in their caves. MAGA supporters just guard tacky flag blankets in their derpy Trumpy Bears.
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