Essay: Let People Wear Whatever Kind of Fashion They Want

Overthrowing Fashion Rules

By Ghia Vitale

Fashion means different things to different people. For many people (including me), fashion provides an outlet for self-expression. Wearing a certain outfit on a certain day can be an expression of how I feel at that time. Others simply don’t care about how their clothes look and choose clothes based on comfort alone. But let’s be clear: Arbitrary fashion rules serve no one.

“Don’t wear white after labor day.”
“Don’t wear socks with sandals.”
“Don’t mix prints.” 
“Don’t mix the colors black and brown.”

The fashion police work overtime at their own expense, so many people feel pressured to follow fashion rules like these. But who do all of these fashion rules serve?

Not me. That’s for sure. 

I’ve spent my entire life hearing about all the fashion rules people should follow. I’ve heard people say that fat people shouldn’t wear crop tops, bright colors, tight clothing, horizontal stripes, etc. People have told me to wear clothes that “flatter” my figure. (In this case, “flattering” means “makes my body look slimmer.” For most of my life, I was too self-conscious and insecure to break these fashion rules. Even in college, I let fashion rules like the ones I mentioned above dictate how I looked on a given day. Sure, I was brave enough to wear fishnets, but looking back, I realize how limiting my mindset truly was.

I’m also ashamed to say that I expected others to follow many of the arbitrary fashion rules I held for myself. For example, I used to cringe whenever I saw someone wearing Mary Jane shoes with socks. I even remember complaining to my friends about it in college. I also told someone I know that he shouldn’t wear socks with sandals. Because of this, he stopped wearing them together and looking back, I feel really bad about it. My judgement of others’ fashion came from the same insecure place that my adherence to fashion rules came from. It was all rooted in my insecurity that I projected onto others.

Before I got into plus size fashion, I used to think fashion was only for thin people. Until recently, the thought of a fat person going to fashion week was unthinkable to me. When I was in middle school, I discovered a song called Anti-Fashion by Social Distortion and I couldn’t help but relate. In fact, the lyrics still resonate with me because they describe some of my gripe with the fashion world. Once I discovered the #fatshion hashtag years later, I finally got to see everyday fat people looking and feeling amazing in their clothes. Discovering fatshion inspired me to start getting more into fashion and sharing pictures of my outfits online.

My interest in fashion led me to start writing fashion copy. One time, I wrote an article about developing your personal sense of style. Based on my research, the most important aspect of creating your own style is experiencing an authentic attraction to the clothes you wear. Taking note of what kinds of clothes (colors, patterns, dresses, button-up shirts, etc.) you like to wear is also important because it helps you build a wardrobe that truly expresses your taste.

I realize now that I wasn’t always choosing the clothes I was authentically attracted to. Instead, I was trying to perform the hyperfemininity that people expect of fat girls in order to compensate for being fat. Sure, I love punk rock and goth fashion, but I also can’t deny that I found solace in the fact that people consider black to be a “flattering” (slimming) color for fat people. I still love wearing black, but I no longer consider it my only option.

As I’ve gotten more into body positivity and fat liberation (yes, there’s a difference), I’ve been breaking fashion rules left and right. I do this because I appreciate my body more. For the first time in my life, I wear shorts without shame. I’ve fallen in love with the color pink and I wear it frequently. I even bought a pink tube top for myself! I love the feeling of wearing this tube top, especially on hot days. I didn’t have the confidence to wear a tube top, but now that I do, I cherish every moment of wearing it. I bought my first bikini and I plan on doing a fatkini shoot with my friend at some point. It feels so empowering to finally wear whatever I want and ignore the haters. 

I used to cringe with insecurity at the thought of air hitting my visible skin. Now, I revel in that sensation.

I think the best fashion advice is to wear whatever makes you feel happy and comfortable. As long as you’re not wearing swastikas/something else bigoted, your fashion probably isn’t harming anyone. You deserve to wear clothes you love. Don’t limit your fashion choices because other people are close-minded. I used to do that and honestly, I think life is much more fun while wearing whatever I want.

I also feel it’s important to mention that not all types of clothing are consistently available to all body types. The only place I could find a tube top in my size was Torrid. Fat people like me often experience difficulty with finding clothes we like. Although plus size fashion brands are becoming more hip, others still think floral print dresses are the only garments plus size people should wear. 

For the record: I love floral prints, but they shouldn’t be my only option.

If wearing certain clothes will make you happy, then wear them. Be as brave with your fashion as you feel comfortable with. If you feel like it, tweet me (@GhiaWasHere) and let me know what some of your favorite clothes to wear are. Remember: Fashion is for everyone.