Culture: A Letter to Facebook Fuckbois

Your Quail Bell Submission Won't Make Me Sleep With You

By Christine Sloan Stoddard

Dear Facebook friends who better have the self-awareness to know who they are,

I’m not looking for action. I’m happily married and intend to stay that way. If you connected with me on Facebook primarily because you have romantic intentions in mind, please unfriend me. If you try to connect with me on Facebook for the same reason, I will ignore you. I’m not interested in hearing about whatever fake art or publishing project you made up to get my attention under false pretenses. I don’t care if our work appeared in the same show or magazine if you’re only bringing it up to mack on me. I definitely don’t want your shameless flirting, vulgar messages, or dick pics. What you want is NEVER going to happen.
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Facebook is a space for my friends, family, and select colleagues in the arts. I try to be discerning about friend requests to minimize unwanted attention for this reason (especially with Quail Bell’s reach), but the onus shouldn’t be on me. Grow up, fuckbois! It’s one thing to harbor a respectful crush on someone you work with. It’s another thing to be a creep. Think about the difference. You don’t need to tell me about your crush and I don’t want to know. Learn to control your words and actions and direct your feelings elsewhere. If our relationship is about a reading series, let’s keep our conversations on that topic and anything that’s ACTUALLY relevant. Professional relationships can change and become platonic friendships over time, but I promise you that my professional relationships NEVER turn into amorous ones. There will be no exceptions.

One of the most challenging things about being a woman is dealing with people who see you first and foremost as a sex object. They’re not interested in your mind; they’re only interested in your body. And they may lie, cheat, and steal to pretend otherwise, but the truth remains the truth. So if you’re not a friend, family member, or here for genuine platonic connection and creative collaboration, get out. We don’t need to be Facebook friends for ANY reason. I don’t care how many Quail Bell submissions you’ve sent.

Sincerely (but definitely not warmly),
​Christine