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but nature kills love too
Words by Archita Mittra
Image byGretchen Gales
the stories painted on the cave walls are dying in silence. i can see myself in the ancient pool, a woman leached of colour and ambition, yellow-white skin flaking off like old plaster. i write my suicide note on pebbles with limestone chips and arrange them in a circle around me, like a private universe. minutes later, i am stepping out of the ring. the stalactites and stalagmites are stoic-they are used to this, to a world withering and crumbling with despair. when i leave the cave, i leave my heart behind.
sunsets are terrible. in silence, they’ve witnessed a million suicides and in time they’ll witness a million more. i stand at the edge of a rocky cliff, breathing in slow awareness. below, the waves crash with savage ferocity, glinting in sunlight like liquid jewels. when i jump, i know i shall fall into a jewelled throne inlaid with spikes and my blood mixing with the water shall appear golden. and the sea gulls shall fly past without a careless glance. and only the salty sea water shall have a bitter aftertaste.
but even out of love, i fall only midway, before the angelic wings catch me and carry me upwards, back into the stale universe again, flying past clouds and forming hopes, the sensations familiar, but still strange, unyielding. i know who you are but not your name. you take me to an ancient forest, where trees with emerald leaves grow, grow forever more and a ghostly lullaby trails in the cool breeze- a world of moistness and dappled sunlight, birdsong and endless love.
and yet the Beast knows i do not belong here,i never did- chasing us through the thick undergrowth and dream-stained ground. we lose him for a while, the grass hiding our naked souls. in the silence,i can almost hear my heart growing. your fingers touch me the way i’d always wanted to be touched, but something shifts in your eyes and the moment is gone. i do not know what you see, but i know what this means. the night sky is always full of stars, like a woman dressed up for strangers.
when i wake up in the desert, i am alone and thirsty but there is no oasis for the lovelorn. i lie in the sun-blistered ground, burning- burning with the heat of ancient memories. every new heart is a tangled yarn, unwoven and unstrung with fresh love. but even nature has her laws and her defects are always folded back into her body, even if the illusions fool them otherwise. a melancholy sky watches the malformed, crumpled heart withering in an empty desert. nature has better universes to create and look after.
#Unreal #ProsePoem #Nature #Love #ValentinesDay #Lovelorn #HungerAndThirst #Loneliness
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