Poem: The Perfect Apartment

The Perfect Apartment

By Virginia Woods
QuailBellMagazine.com

Put on your poker face because it's time to visit a few leasing offices.
Waltz in, unannounced, wearing plain clothes, demanding as a billionaire.
You--you—need no appointment anywhere, says the smug smile on your face.
You--you—could buy this whole damn building if you wanted, but why?

Good day, how are you, please show me a room, studio or 1BR, no pets, now.

You'll tell them you're on a budget later; let them assume Daddy cut you off.

Walk into each room without a hint of emotion or attachment,
even if the hardwood floors, exposed brick, and big windows 
make you want to squeal harder than a state fair prize pig.

Once you've seen all the rooms available, ask for a folder with info.
You must have the dimensions and the rates to consider at home.
But call within the next hour to say you've made up your mind.
Calmly say you want that room. You'll sign the lease today.
Otherwise, some other entitled little jerk will take it within 24.
(Don't say that last part.) (Really, don't.) (Please don't.)

If you're lucky, you'll be moving in next week.
You're happy for now, but in seven days, you'll think it's a dump.
That's normal, don't freak. You're just another renting chump.

#Imaginative #ThisWorld #Poem #Apartments #HomeSweetHome #Renting #Humor #TheStruggleIsReal #CreativeWriting

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