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Flash Fiction: Virgin Valentine

2/12/2015

Virgin Valentine

By Alex Carrigan
QuailBellMagazine.com

Last Valentine's Day, I spent the entire day watching shows on Netflix. I also managed to drink an entire $10 bottle of Pinot Grigio without getting drunk. I learned that the best pleasures in life are spread out over the course of a day, and with a large tumbler of ice water by your side so you don't vomit on everything.

The Valentine's Day before, I told everyone that, in lieu of actually talking to a girl and asking her out, I'd just buy a cake from Kroger and spend the entire day eating the cake. I couldn't legally buy alcohol at this point, so an entire cake seemed like a good enough vice (and a good enough personal challenge) for the day. I never bought the cake. I just stayed home and browsed the Internet.

I don't remember any other Valentine's Days before that. If I had to guess, I probably just masturbated and called it a day.

#Unreal #Valentine #Love #Dating #Relationships #MyLife #VDay #Virgin #Wine #Lonely #Sad #ValentinesDay

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