The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Satire: A Love Letter to ModCloth
Unrequited Vintage Love
I have a confession to make: I don't like you or even like like you. I love you. I know, I'm sick. But isn't it your fault? "Unique and cute"—that's how you brand yourself. I prefer "addictive" and "diabolical." The devil's perfectly flounced darling. You cast a spell on me or maybe you forced some pill down my throat while diverting me with a colorful scarf that reminded me of picnics in Paris, I'm not sure, but suddenly I have no impulse control and my cart is full because you have "frocks in every color for every occasion." You even have a frock for hugging your cat while it dies a poetic death on the porch one July afternoon. I know it because you told me so, because your names are divinely descriptive. The average department store tag describes a dress as "dark blue," but you'll call the same one something like "Midnight Star Party" or "Dusk in Florence." Who can resist a star party or a Florence evening? That's what makes you so perfect: Your clever/sexy, sexy/clever word play. Dare I say...your marketing. But that's really not all. There has to be more. I can't admit that it was your marketing alone that grabbed me. After all, I'm an independent thinker, a free spirit. That's why I shop at ModCloth and not the same big box retailers as everyone else. I go to warehouse parties in Brooklyn and do everything with so much ironic flourish it's batty. There's a ukulele in my closet, I swear. I almost took it out and wrote you a love song, but I thought I'd write you a letter instead. Oh, wow. This love letter has become a stream of consciousness, hasn't it? I'm some fancy fool at my desk, scribbling away about my ModCloth passion while wearing a Peter Pan collar. I'm even doing it with a plume. A real plume. Like the one printed on my dress. The dress I bought on ModCloth. I have to keep punctuating these realizations because they are just that life-changing. This letter has allowed me to understand so many things about myself, just the way my plume-printed dress has made me realize who I am. It's shown me my soul. That's what a real dress does. ModCloth, I know you understand. You more than understand. You taught me the way to dress, the way to think, the way to be. You are my fashion guru, ModCloth, and my greatest love. But I know I am just one of many admirers. You cannot possibly see in me what I see in you. I am but a flawed indie butterfly girl and you...you are ModCloth, a vision, a muse, a goddess. May you reign forever. I shall watch you with bated breath from afar, afar, afar. Adieu, adieu, adieu.
Overflowing with love but not money,
Your Faithful Shopper
Disclaimer: The writer has actually never bought anything from ModCloth.com but fights the urge to do so on a regular basis.
#Real #ModCloth #VintageShopping #VintageFashion #VintageClothing #VintageStyle #OnlineShopping #BadHabits
Visit our shop and subscribe. Sponsor us. Submit and become a contributor. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.
Comments are closed.