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A Brief on Pitching Small TentsDemocrats are bad at street fighting on the national scale. Ludicrously bad. Horrendously bad. They are feckless ninnies who wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight, hearts pump Kool-Aid, and whose hands have been soaking in ivory liquid. So far the best chin-check anyone has landed on Donald Trump is they’ve pointed out when his family moved to America his name wasn’t Trump, it was Drumpf. A true shock and awe campaign that Henry Kissinger could be proud of. Allow me to say that I don’t particularly care about treating people whose moral rot outweighs their physical rot with care. I wrote an entire article talking about how Ted Cruz looked like a sentient loogie. I am a believer, in a way that I would believe separates me and puts me outside the current accepted discourse, that when fascism comes to America it won’t be defeated by pitying glances and appeals to the better angels of America, but it is more likely to be defeated by the rough tongues of bad people ready to keep other bad men away from the door so we can sleep comfortably in our beds without ever having to have gotten mad online and having ever said anything we would regret. This might be the emotional fascism Elvis Costello sang about. I also don’t care if it is. My problem with the Trump statue is that it sucks. Hideous men have gotten by looking horrible due to status for years. Whether they pitch small tents, look like Ed Gein’s lampshade, or smell like hot garbage is beside the point. None of this matters because Trump’s problem extends beyond ugliness and pointing out his ugliness does nothing because it does not connect to his modus operandi. The reason you can insult Ted Cruz’s looks is because he embodies a disgusting slipperiness with his weird Mystery Man in Lost Highway face. He looks like a guy who knows his way around a legal loophole and does bad Simpsons impressions too close to Congress intern’s faces as they smell the chunky Campbell’s soup he had for lunch. The moral rot of Trump’s statements don’t really coalesce with his looks in any conceivable way that makes the joke land. Trump doesn’t care if he’s ugly. He cares if he’s famous. He cares if he’s talked about. As long as he’s talked about, he’s winning in his mind. That’s really why the statue sucks. Not because he deserves to not be insulted. He deserves a good insult. If you’re going to come into the paint, come hard, or don’t come at all. After all, it’s not about what you’ve got, it’s about how you use it. #Real #Politics #TrumpStatues #Election2016 Visit our shop and subscribe. Sponsor us. Submit and become a contributor. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.
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