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What it's like to be Romani, According to Stock Photos!
Being Romani is, apparently, mystical, furry, and full of magic cats. Here are a few stock photos to show you our lifestyle:
We love to camp out in teepees while all of our girlfriends wearing nothing but fur and tons of jewelry. Of course, blankets, couch pillows and a guitar are a must!
When we're not hanging out in teepees with our friends we just LOVE to sit on the railroad tracks looking vaguely pissed off. There's nothing better for getting rid of that girlfriend hangover!
We also love (and I mean LOVE) our glowing crystal balls. We stare at them ALL the time and they come in handy; they're great to use as nightlights in the teepee at 3am when you just gotta go!
Sometimes though, we find that our magic is too strong to contain (we usually do very well just keeping it at the 'glowing' stage) and suddenly .... CATS!
Yes. Cats. The internet doesn't own them, you know!
No matter where we go in our caravans, we always (and I mean ALWAYS) bring The Chair. You know, that one armchair! That way, whenever we need a rest, we can just take a load off in style! We'd love to bring the whole sofa ensemble, but it's just not practical, the chair takes up enough room as it is.
We also like to sit and stare at our own boobs when we're taking a rest. What? It helps us to meditate....
Of course, sometimes The Chair just doesn't do it. In these extreme cases, we just LOVE to go crash out in the hay with our nearest and dearest. We just adore flopping around in the scratchy, smelly goodness. Usually, we feel SO MUCH better afterwards and can resume tambourine playing almost immediately.
Our men folk often will spread their wings (literally) as they go about their daily business. While it's very rare for a non-Romani to witness, wings of all shapes and sizes are common. Usually, the men will stand and stare handsomely into space while the "winging" process happens. You can tell how advanced a man is by the length of his headscarf. The longer the "tail," the more "wing hours" he has logged.
One unfortunate side effect of our magic is the sheer inability to go shopping. Whenever we enter public spaces the word becomes a blur and it's very confusing. As a result, you'll often see us just standing around, grasping our bags, and looking totally out of it...
When we're not shopping, we often like to just stand and hold our skirts out. It's very comforting to just stand there, skirts in hand, staring into space. Maybe we should call it "skirt yoga" and encourage others to undertake this very relaxing pastime??!
However, being Romani isn't all fun and games and so we often find ourselves, wearing very little, screaming into the wilderness of the forest. This form of magic is very ancient and is known as "Gypset" (or, alternatively, "GypseaLyfe"). It's considered a woman's job, so while the men are in their "winging" phase, we all head to the woods and howl at the sky.
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