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Essay: A Christmas Wake Up Call
5 Ways to Keep the "Christ" in Christmas
Don't you hate it when people go BUH-LISTIC when you wish them a merry Christmas instead of a happy holiday? Ugh, me too. It’s time to get real, people. Screw all this “Happy Holidays” crap. Every time I wish someone a #merrychristmas, they get so offended. I’m not submitting to the politcal correctness fascists. People like that killed Jesus, right? Here are some helpful tips to put “Christ” back in your Christmas as well as everyone else’s.
Ditch the Christmas Tree: When you I see a Christmas tree, I see a pagan artifact and an appropriated pagan tradition. Christmas trees actually derive from Druid tree worship. Oak trees were especially sacred and seen as the alpha tree. Back then, Druids consulted trees for spiritual wisdom and legal decisions. (Gee, I wonder why they’re not around now.) Once upon a winter solstice dreary (while Saint Boniface pondered, weak and weary), Saint Boniface cut chopped down their oh-so-precious oak tree and replaced it with a fir tree. Then he claimed that it was better because science... Just kidding! He said that the fact that pine trees are evergreen and its triangular shape symbolized the holy trinity. Pagans have been hanging evergreen boughs over their doorways and stuff since forever. You might as well be screaming “Happy Saturnalia!” from the highest tree on top of the highest mountain.
The Santa (Lies) Clause: The widespread celebration of Santa Claus is nothing more than socially acceptable idolatry. Besides, according to National Geographic, Saint “was neither fat nor jolly but developed a reputation as a fiery, wiry, and defiant defender of church doctrine during the ‘Great Persecution,’ when Bibles were put to the torch and priests made to renounce Christianity or face execution.” Oh, and that whole Santa archetype? It is loosely based on a facial reconstruction based on Saint Nicholas’s remains. In other words, Santa’s nothing but a glorified corpse. He’s like an identified body that, upon being identified, actively maintains a “naughty” list. That sounds a lot like playing God to me. Word on the street says that the name on his death certificate was Nimrod.
Nativity Scenes Are Proof That It’s Hip to Be a Square: See above except it’s based on the birth of multiple pagan deities. Besides, Jesus wasn’t even born in a stable to begin with.
Stop Giving Gifts: I hate to be the bearer of spoilers, but here we go: consumerism has been binging on Christmas for so long, there’s only a few crumbs left for the world to feed on. Feed the poor, save your money/dignity, and fight the corporate (and pagan) power by not participating in this pagan ritual.
Fall Into Action: December 25 is someone else’s birthday. Jesus was born in the fall. Go home, everyone. You’re drunk. (Off of Jesus’s critically-acclaimed wine, that is.)
The best way to keep the Christ in Christmas is to keep the “X” in Xmas: by not celebrating this “holiday” at all. Holy days are holy. December 25 is not.
tl ; dr Keep the “Christ” in Christmas by not participating in the pagan orgy that is the Christmas of today.
Disclaimer: Have a great day! Hey, I know a good intention when I see one. :-)
#KeepTheChristInChristmas #KeepTheXInXmas #TheMoreYouKnow#Appropriation #Satire #Pagan #Real
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