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Hasashiburi (It's Been a Long Time)
By Trivarna Hariharan
I still remember the first time we met. I think it was in January. We were at a Poetry Meet, and you were one of the most anxious people there.
There’s no chance in hell people would be able to guess who they’re letting themselves in for when they meet you for the first time. You don’t look like someone who could dissect the philosophies of Zarathustra, at all.
You are the wind in the flow of the seas, the anchor to preposterous waters, and the sunshine reflecting off the silhouettes of abstract images.
But you’re also the shadow. You are content with not wanting too much.
There are days when you’re lonely and you make no bones about it. There are also days you forget what loneliness is, yet claim to have known it.
Your dichotomies are joined by a thin line that others very mildly call unabashed honesty. But I think it’s just pure being.
This makes me think there’s something extremely pleasant about your constant wanting to justify actions, events, memories. When others do it, it feels like irrational over-thinking.
Coming from you, it is feels like a seamless stream of thoughts that is meant to be conveyed.
You have the capacity to talk about Rumi at lengths and subsequently discuss jazz music. There are no boundaries to the realms of your being.
You say things I don’t understand sometimes.
You say things that I begin to understand.
It’s almost like you bring my subconscious thoughts into my consciousness. I am beginning to understand myself better around you. I feel so connected with you.
Your untainted idealism is almost enviable. You are rooted, yet flying. You aren’t afraid of conceptualising the world in a way no one else does. You think of peace as a way of being, and not just as a virtue.
When you delve deep into the quest of seeking the absolute truth, there’s no one who can stop you. You have no inhibitions; you’re completely unhindered. Being that way knowing there might be nothing at the other end of the rainbow is not just risky, it’s extremely selfless.
And even after trying to disseminate you into different categories, I haven’t succeeded. Perhaps it’s because nothing about you is inseparable. I can’t talk about one aspect of you trying to segregate it from others. You’re almost indivisible.
Perhaps what you’re seeking is what you are, after all.
It’s been a long time.
But it’s also not.
#Real #CreativeNonfiction #OldFriends #SeekingAbsoluteTruth #Japanese #Japan
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