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The Most Wonderful Day of the YearDear fledglings,
First off, happy Halloween! You didn't think we'd forget, did you? We've just been running around, primping our feathers, checking the proofs on our new anthologies, and overall relishing the fact that it's the freakiest, creepiest day of the year. After all, Halloween exemplifies our tagline to the point of dictionary definition. Imaginary? Check. All those creative costumes and all that folklore? Definitely. Nostalgic? Of course! Especially since it's Throwback Thursday. Don't pretend you haven't spent time over the past month reflecting upon former costumes and maybe even checking out old pics from your babyhood. (Executive Editor Christine Stoddard was a strawberry in kindergarten, FYI.) You've probably thought about past parties, past trick-or-treating shenanigans, past decorations, etc. And otherworldly? Certainly. Halloween is when the spirits wander our earth before Lord Samhain collects them and escorts them back to the underworld. We hope you have fun plans for tonight, but if you're still looking for something to do, head to Richmond, Virginia. We'll be at The Lair, where Christine has a monster fairy basket on display, in a show curated by Unbroken Land creator Sarah V. Smith. Come in costume and check out all the other fabulous art on display. It's going to be yet another awesome and unforgettable Halloween. Feathery hugs, The Quail Bell Crew The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Don't Let the Bugger Get Your FaceThe first time I really began to think was while studying Columbus in middle school. I thought, “What the fuck!" It lead to the first poem I wrote, something along the lines of, “White men sailed the sea, landed in our country, hurt the people, made the bleed, filled them with disease, called them savages.” And so I began to question. I began to question the entire legacy of America; the genocide, rape, torture, humiliation, mutilation performed by “the discoverers” paved the way for a history of murder, racism, oppression, and epic ecological destruction. I romanticized the civilized world that was wiped away by European dominance. I was angry at the un-fairness of it all. I saw the world through a different set of eyes with a different perspective.
My grandmother was a crazy person. She was a paranoid recluse and cold. I barely knew her and did not like to visit her when we went over for holidays. I remember only two things she said to me, “Don't let the bugger get your face," and “I hope you have a good life and smile a whole bunch." The former she said some time early in my life and I never knew what it meant. The latter was the last thing she said to me and it blew my mind as it was so out of character for her. I had given her a ride home from the grocery store after running into her there. She said it through my rolled down passenger window when I dropped her off at her house on some sunny New Year's Day. It was only when she passed recently that I gave her much thought. And I understand now. She was disconnected, cut-off and could not relate to the world. Didn't get it, did not compute, just not in-sync. I get why. Because even today there is no bridge for the culture gap. Native ways, lifestyle, and goals, are different from the mainstream American reality of society. Someone set away from ancient knowledge gets lost, astranged from the sacred knowledge and secrets and guidance, left to wander in a post-apocalyptic, Americanized culture. We are of Cherokee, of the Walkers. When I learned of this, it was if I had a warm, untainted blanket handed to me in the winter. I proclaimed to a girlfriend at the time, “I am Cherokee!" I felt free and whole. I began to study more of native history, The People's History, and get lost in the Internet. We didn't grow up native; a generation or two ago, the family melted into the great melting pot, as most Native Americans did by or shortly after World War II. So many souls left lost and confused in a sick wrong capitalist world. While doing a residency in New York City, I was researching masks and one day learned of the booger mask. The mask was a mocking caricature of the European settler. And boom! An epiphany. “Don't let the bugger get your face," she told me. And who was this mad woman to all of a sudden be profound? The booger, the boogie man, the white man. Don't let him get your face. And in this life, as I grow older, I have learned to release the anger that I contained for years. I have overcome much sadness. I have come to see things in a more sympathetic, compassionate light. I am now content. Through right breathing, right thinking, we begin to relax. We relax our muscles and our belly and our forehead. Hatred, stress, confusion, heartache, and general disarray distort us. We find our faces contorted, gnarled, tense. She was saying, “Be at peace with it. Don't let it hurt you. Don't let it have you. Don't let it have your face." Rest in Peace, Mary. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
A Witch's PerspectiveBy Misty Thomas QuailBellMagazine.com It sure is adorable that you mere mortals celebrate this silly holiday that you call “Halloween." My favorite part is seeing all of you dressed up as witches. HA! As if we would make ourselves known to the public ever so simply. Silly, silly mortals. So it has been brought to my attention that young girls (and even a few older ones) have been reading up on our craft. These books clearly must be works of fiction, because our superiors would never expose our best spells and techniques. And the news on the street is that there is a television program that explains the ins and outs of covens. Bullocks, I say! We would never let Hollywood get a hold of any private information on covens, let alone make a public display of it on that repugnant video box. I keep hearing whispers from the children in my neighborhood about Samhain, my black cat. One child even thinks that he put a spell on her. Silly child, I’m the only one who can do that! They whisper that I must have coven meetings in my basement and we must all stand around the cauldron and cast spells on the single men in the neighborhood, because we always have handsome, wealthy men on our arms at the parties that their uptight and pretentious parents attend. Perhaps there is some truth in that, but with my so-called coven made up of beautiful women, what man could resist us?! These parents have been leaving brooms on my porch as if they think I do THAT much housework. Oh these superstitious mortals and their beliefs about us. I even hear that people are writing books about vampires and witches having relationships with one another! If you mortals do indeed wish to keep spreading these heinous lies about witches, perhaps you all should stop by my place and stay awhile. You’ll see that the broomsticks are just taking up valuable basement space and I honestly need to make more room for a new cauldron, the one down there is far too dusty. Some words of wisdom to you mortals upon going out this All Hallow’s Eve: • Though we witches have not sold our souls to the devil, we don’t play well with others—at least of your kind. We play well with Mother Nature. She is our supreme being. • We will not turn you into a toad or even try to kiss a toad in hopes of finding our prince. So CHILL OUT. • Contrary to popular belief, we are not all wart-ridden hags. Some of us are downright gorgeous. (At least this one is!) Happy and blessed All Hallow’s Eve, kiddies…*cue evil, cackling, hag laugh* The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Grab your pitchfork and cat ears.Dear fledglings,
Halloween is TOMORROW. Are you ready? Gorge on candy corn, carve a pumpkin, scare the kids who come knocking on your door. The possibilities are endless and they all end in fun. And, yes, in case you were wondering, "The Nightmare Before Christmas" IS on Netflix Instant. Thank us later—and be sure to sing along. Feathery hugs, The Quail Bell Crew The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Pinterest, Cardies, and Bargain ShoppingI am a huge Pinterest fan. And a lot of the time, I find things I'd love to own but can't afford. Like hundred dollar boots, or a gorgeous dress I'd probably wear only twice. But sometimes, I come across something I know I can find cheaper elsewhere. Something not identical, but close enough that it would be difficult to tell which is which. My favorite piece in the fall and winter (okay, maybe spring and summer, too) is the cardigan. I feel naked without one. So naturally, I fall in love with nearly every one I find. But lately, I'm attracted to these tribal-inspired sweaters and I sowant to find a decently priced one. This one is absolutely gorgeous, right? I love the colors and how comfy it looks. I would honestly wear this every day if I could. But it's a hefty $68. If I had plenty of money, I'd splurge on this bad boy. But I don't. So I found the next best thing. This one, however, is under $22. I love how the sleeves are baggier around the arms, and the colors still intrigue me. This one is on Ebay.com, and although it won't be there forever, you can still find so many others every day. It's definitely a great place to check, anyway, rather than spend almost $100 on a style you love. Just remember next time you go shopping: That really expensive item in the window has an inexpensive counterpart somewhere else. You just have to hunt! Quail Bell Food for Thought: Is this a good or bad example of cultural appropriation? Why? The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
A Contemporary Hunger for Human FleshNearly two years after the bizarre slaying of a vagrant, a 36-year old Connecticut man has been found not guilty by reason of insanity and sentenced to a maximum-security psychiatric hospital indefinitely. Tyree Lincoln Smith was arrested was arrested in Florida after the mutilated and partially decomposed body of Angel Gonzalez was found in a vacant house in Bridgeport, Connecticut. The victim had been killed with an axe and had his one of his eyes and part of his brain removed.
According to testimony presented at his trial, Smith's cousin, Nicole Rabb, stated that Smith had arrived at her house on December 15, 2011. He then told her that he "wanted to get blood on his hands" before going to the abandoned house where Gonzalez's body was later found. He said that he had developed a craving for blood after eating a rare steak. On the following day, she saw him with blood on his hands, pants, and an axe. He then told her that he had "gotten his blood" and that he had killed Gonzalez with the ax and then collected the man's eyes and brain to be eaten in a cemetery. He reportedly said the eye, "tasted like an oyster" and that he drank sake after consuming the body parts. Nicole Rabb contacted Bridgeport police and reported her cousin, though police were only able to find the bloody axe and an empty bottle of sake. Several weeks later, Smith was found in a pharmacy bleeding from his wrist after he had cut himself with a box cutter. He was treated and released from a mental health facility in Westport, Connecticut before returning to Florida on a Greyhound bus. Federal and state law enforcement officers located Smith in a woman's apartment and he was arrested on January 23, 2012 after the body was found. Public defender Joseph Bruckman based Smith's defense on the testimony of Yale University psychiatrist Dr. Reena Kapoor. In her testimony, Dr. Kapoor stated that Smith had suffered from psychotic episodes since childhood, including hearing voices telling him to kill people. She also stated that the voices ordered him to eat the victim's brain to get a better understanding of human nature and the eyes so that he could "see into the spirit realm." His preoccupation with eating human flesh remained strong even after his arrest and he even offered to eat Dr. Kapoor. According to Smith in a videotaped statement presented to the court, he had been sleeping on the porch of the abandoned house where he had once lived when he was awakened by Gonzalez who invited him inside. He then beat Gonzalez on the head and face with the axe. The force of the blows were so severe that he was able to remove the eye and part of the brain. He went to the Lakeview Cemetery so that he could eat the brain and eye on the grave of a male cousin. He then went to a Subway restaurant for a sandwich. After weighing the evidence and deliberating for only an hour, the three-judge panel declared that Smith was a danger to himself and others if released and ordered him detained indefinitely. Prior to their announcing their decision, Smith surprised the courtroom by apologizing for the murder. "I'm really sorry for what I did, that I couldn't be myself," Smith told the judges. "It really had nothing to do with the other person." The victim's sister-in-law, Talitha Frazier, burst into tears upon hearing Smith's apology. "We waited two years to hear Tyree say he was sorry," she told reporters. "What he said today caught me off guard, but I feel he meant what he said." The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Beyond BricksBy QB Arts Buff QuailBellMagazine.com Born in North Wales and now a resident in Sheffield, U.K., the street artist and cartoon artist loves to share his work all around the world. He is not well known for doing interviews, but has given us the pleasure of sharing a few of his works with our readers. Enjoy and check out his blog and store for more of his amazing artwork.
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Can it be Thursday now?Dear fledglings,
Halloween will come—promise. So stop uttering your "if onlys" and enjoy your Tuesday and Wednesday. Even if that means dabbing some fake blood on your neck a little early. Feathery hugs, The Quail Bell Crew The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
A Shopping Trip in the 18th CenturyBy Misty Thomas QuailBellMagazine.com My stars! Suddenly these holidays are upon us and I have nothing to show for it! My house needs a little décor as everyone in town has seen the stale pottery that I have on display. How do I keep appearances up when all of my vases and paintings are old and tired?! During these specials holidays, there will be visitors in and out of our posh and magnificent home. I must make sure that everyone oohs and ahhs over my new art and pottery. Where do I even begin? I know, a quaint trip down to Williamsburg, Virginia. I always find the best vases there. There is a shop there that has quite the finger vase collection that would be absolutely perfect for my guests to ogle. My mother-in-law, of course, is the one who piqued my interest in the collection of vases and artwork. My home was quite plain until one day, she decided to visit and unannounced at that. She critiqued every painting in my home and said I needed more art. Apparently, the women in London have quite the personal art collections and if I am to be a prominent American woman, I will need the same. After hearing that, I took our first trip to Williamsburg. A weekend trip of shopping and learning about art from the Who's Who in English culture. My mother-in-law recently introduced me to the finger vase, which Miss Claire LeDoyen introduced to you Quail Bell(e)s before. It is incredibly divine and since I love to display fresh flowers, the finger vase is a necessity in my home. Williamsburg is famous for these vases and I can find just about any type that I want there. I love the finger vase because I can display five different types of flowers at a time and my guests can see what lovely taste I have in flora. After purchasing a few of these finger vases, I decided that all I need now is some art for my bare walls. My mother-in-law has suggested that we have a few paintings of the Revolutionary War in the study. She tells me that the men will enjoy their cognac and reminisce about their days as soldiers—the "good ol' days." I suppose that she is correct, so I purchased a couple of those from a kind, young lady in Williamsburg for twenty pence. She insisted that I give her less, but it was evident to me that her family needed the money more than I did. With war paintings purchased and finger vases in tow, I needed just a few more items to make my collection complete for my future guests. I purchased quite a few paintings of the homes in Williamsburg and also a few paintings of vases and flowers. These are bright in color and will help to liven up my darker rooms. I purchased a few for gifts as well with the holidays being upon us. Overall, I say that this Williamsburg trip was quite a successful one and I absolutely cannot wait for my guests to see the amazing new artwork that I will have on display for my annual holiday parties. But first to prepare for All Hallows' Eve... The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
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Battle CryI still mumble “Goliath” as an insult. I rooted for Daniel as a kid because I was an underdog and underdogs are supposed to root for underdogs. If only everyone rooted for them. Too often in real life—certainly not just literature—the 'good guy' is small, weak, and mute. (Not every cop is willing to buy a starving shoplifter groceries.) In elementary school, I knew a girl named Laurie Ann. Laurie Ann had Down Syndrome. Laurie Ann also appeared to wear nearly the same clothes every single day. Her stringy hair hung short and her glasses gave her the look of a praying mantis. Unlike Wet Seal model Karrie Brown, none of the other children seemed to think her beautiful. They threw pebbles, leaves, and balled-up notebook paper at her during recess. The one time I spotted Laurie Ann's mother, it was during a dreadful hallway scene where the woman was yelling at her daughter at full volume. Now, even as a child, I was no saint, but I empathized with Laurie Ann because I knew a fraction of her suffering. The other children teased me, too–albeit more subtly. My mother was an immigrant and, though I was mostly Americanized, I still occasionally betrayed my greenhorn ways in how I dressed, the food I ate, and some of the expressions I used. Plus, I was big. Yet it pissed me off more when classmates bullied Laurie Ann than when they bullied me. I could take it. Most of the time, my friends defended me and teachers adored me. I had a family that loved me. I did well in school and was honored for my achievements. So every so often, I would eat lunch with Laurie Ann. She had a table by herself since none of the other children dared sit with her. That made me the brave soul. Even my friends turned on me those days. I ignored them. Then I would open Laurie Ann's chocolate milk carton for her and tell her stories since she didn't often respond to questions. Once in a while, she would try to tell me a story and I would follow along the best I could. We communicated differently, but that didn't bother me. If she wanted to talk, I listened.
When lunch ended, I'd wave good-bye to Laurie Ann and get in line with my class and she'd wander over to hers. She'd always walk away smiling. It was a simple gesture to sit with Laurie Ann a few times a month, even if it meant being temporarily shunned by the other children. Laurie Ann wanted and needed company. It was my duty to give what I could. All of us witness injustice every single day. Sometimes we are aware of it and sometimes we aren't. Sometimes we just want to sit and gorge and watch “Parks and Recreation.” Sometimes every particle of our being wants to fight. Both of these things are fine, as long as the proportion of one to the other makes sense for the particular individual. I'd rather be intense than passive if I had to choose between the two, but I also know it's important to zone out and chill on the sofa once in a while. You don't have to wage an entire war; pick one battle, maybe two. Just remember: In a world full of assholes, committing genuine acts of kindness is just about the most punk thing you can do. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Mission HighBy Christine Stoddard QuailBellMagazine.com There was a time in my life when I was probably more likely to become a professional athlete than a missionary, but life has more phases than the moon and, thus, I found myself in Piura, Peru last month. During my mission, I stayed at Santísimo Sacramento, a parish where the word "devout" only begins to describe most of the parish workers. These kind people show their wisdom every day by distributing food, caring for the sick, and educating across neighborhoods and generations, knowing that serving the poor and acting on the side of social justice will bring you closer to God than spewing rhetoric—no matter how perfectly quoted—ever will.
The mission is simple, sturdy, and clean, and can accommodate a couple dozen missionaries at any time. But what I like best about the actual building is its elevation. It allowed me to see more of Piura at once than I could anywhere else in this sprawling city with few tall buildings. Here are some of the sights: The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Review of The CongresswomanCurtis, Isabel Gordon. The Congresswoman. Chicago: Browne & Howell Company, 1914.
This 1914 story plays out the downside of what was predicted by opponents and skeptics when women won the right to vote and hold public office. It’s important to read in order to understand the pressures of public opinion at the turn of the 20th century. Just as there is push back today by some segments of society because of women’s increasing political influence, the pressure was even more intense back in 1914. It speaks to the courage and persistence of suffragists to carry on the work begun in 1848 at Seneca Falls and not give up. What could go wrong manifested, as predicted, for U.S. Rep. Cynthia Pike in the book, The Congresswoman. Cynthia had difficulties everywhere she turned—in her family, at the congressional office, from her colleagues. And in the end, she threw in the towel. The long hard struggle for suffrage created a corps of determined women who didn’t give in so easily. Women have not served in public office in great numbers in the years since 1920 and the persistent resistance to women in political life that has lasted long past what otherwise might have been predicted. Some polls, however, suggest that more people feel as if a woman could be elected to this top post in the 2016 presidential election. The free e-book of The Congresswoman is available through Google Play. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Another Symbol of Racism, Sexism, Transphobia, etc.For the reader not from my city of Richmond, Virginia or not familiar with the specifics of Richmond politics: The mid-sized city of Richmond as a microcosm is a great example of the multitude of problems that come with professional sports and public spending. Our issues are likely your town's issues, or have been before, or will be in the future. Our experiences with the racism of the NFL team from Washington, D.C., which began using Richmond grounds as a training camp this past summer, are a part of a national discussion being had about their name. And Richmond's potential to disrespect a site significant to African-American history in the name of development is also a tale told in many towns. And the institutionalized racism, sexism, cissexism, homophobia, and transphobia of the whole thing is not specific to just Richmond. I hope that what you get from this op-ed is not some self-satisfaction that your town is somehow less racist or sexist than mine, but rather, an understanding that the intersectionality of all of this oppressive behavior and spending is happening where you are—and perhaps you can and should do something to stop it. Pushing the discussion
There are plenty of reasons to be down on the amount of public money that has gone into the Redskins Training Camp and the potential for more public spending to go into a new baseball stadium for the Richmond Squirrels in Shockoe Bottom. (Again, for non-Richmonders, Shockoe Bottom is one of the oldest sections of the city, as well as the site of a slave burial ground.) There is the obvious economic failure of such investment of public spending. But there are other significant issues to be addressed. For me, the racism of both of these moves is the most salient point. The name of the team, Redskins, is racist and offensive to indigenous people. (If you don't believe me, I suggest you take a look at a recent article from The Onion to gain a better understanding). Taking money from the Richmond City Public Schools budget to finance the training camp stadium is also racist, when you address the issue of an 80% black student population (2012). The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
DIY Publishing, Toronto StyleBy Mari Pack QuailBellMagazine.com This past weekend's Canzine was the type of D.I.Y. festival that really thrives in a place like Toronto, where everybody has a graduate degree, no job and some sort of creative side-project. Tickets cost a totally reasonable $5, and included a free copy of Broken Pencil Magazine as well as access to special events, art rooms and vendors. Plus, you could buy beer and veggie burgers in the back. If you can't have fun at a place like that, then I can't help you. Canzine is like the shy, younger sister of Toronto arts festivals (the one who grows up to run her own badass publishing house). Canadians usually live up to their stereotype of being a warm, friendly group, and any event that combines fandom and comics with books and writing is probably going to be a pretty OK way to spend an afternoon. So while it doesn't have the star power of Comic Con or the Toronto Comic Arts Festival, it's a bit like hanging out in an adorable, high-energy coffee shop.
The festival hosts three rooms for vendors to sell their zines, comics, arts and crafts. I like to spread my money around at these events, so I usually don't spend more than $5 on one item. This proved especially difficult when I hit the fandom tables, where I was very tempted to purchase a $15 portrait of Mass Effect's Garrus Vakarian painted in tea (tea!). All told, I came away with nine 'zines and comics for just under $40. Three of my favorites include a fairy tale of sorts, Everything all at Once and boys & girls & dykes & me. Jennifer Barrett's a fairly tale of sorts is a comic based on her web series. It stars an unnamed female protagonist whose magical guide (a gnome named Gnome Chumsky) charges her with a quest to rescue a prince from a castle. Unfortunately, she has to travel through a labyrinth to get there. On her acknowledgements page, Barrett personally thanks podcasting and fantasy films from the '80's for inspiration. I found the author of Everything all at Once in a back corner of the upstairs room. It's a shame that her table was so difficult to access, because her zine of poetry is really lovely. Identified only by her wordpress (laurrojas.wordpress.com), she writes about space, transience, and love. You can probably guess the content of boys & girls & dykes & me. While the coming out narrative is a well worn zine genre, Erica Lenti channels the right amounts self-awareness and angst in her collection of prose poems. She creates a narrative arc that explores queerness, bullying, first love, relationships and mental health. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
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This Falcon Does the TamingBy QB Camera Eye QuailBellMagazine.com This falcon was found picking at its meal in an urban landscape, not far from a railroad. In medieval times, it was no uncommon for people to train falcons to hunt for them. Today, it seems, it is more common to encounter a falcon too feisty to do any man or woman's bidding. Of course, you might not be so willing to help a species that nearly brought your kind to extinction. This falcon only wants to look out for himself.
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Exploring the Decades through the Dwarf LadyAs a fashion historian, I find that an interesting aspect of Disney is how the animated features serve as records of the visual culture of their day. The Disney Princesses, a successful sub-franchise launched by Disney in the late 1990s, are everywhere these days. They have not been without controversy, but they are certainly popular. They are also records of changing standards of beauty for women in the 20th century. Case Study No. 1: Disney's Snow White. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) is a landmark moment in the history of film. It was the first full length animated feature produced by Walt Disney, and is one of the top ten performers at the North American box office. Based on the Brothers Grimm fairy tale, it tells the story of an evil queen who is jealous of Snow White's superior beauty and orders her murder. After a huntsman, Snow White's would-be murderer, shows mercy, Snow White begins a life of hiding in the woods and befriends seven dwarfs. Furious that Snow White is still alive the evil queen disguises herself and visits Snow White in her woodland cottage giving her a poisoned apple. Snow White takes a bite and seems to die but is ultimately awoken and rescued by the kiss of a handsome prince. And they all lived happily ever after. (But you knew all that already.) But how does Snow White's appearance reflect the aesthetics of the 1930's? Simply look at fashion illustrations from the period and you'll see that Snow White fits right in with the illustrated fashion models. Fashion illustrations are a great source for looking at ideals of beauty because a drawing can convey ideal aesthetics in a way a real human body cannot. Furthermore, fashion illustration also takes a cue from dominant artistic trends of the period, showing broader visual influences.
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Boo-tiful Tips on Having a BlastBy M. Alouette QuailBellMagazine.com With just one more weekend left until Halloween, you probably have quite the to-do list ahead of you. Gorge on candy corn. Check. Paint nails with tiny skulls. Check. Re-read your favorite collection of scary stories. Check. Please also be sure to check off “Hit a haunted house.” Because you're never too old to get the poop popped out of you. Since more than one member of The Quail Bell Crew has worked for a haunted house, we thought we'd share some pro tips for making the most of your visit to spooksville. Here's the official Quail Bell Magazine word on how to have one hell of a time at a haunted house:
• Abandon logic. You know that a haunted house is a set full of trained performers, optical illusions, and props meant to creep you out. Congrats. You know more than the average 3-year-old. You want a medal? Here's one soaked in blood. Just kidding—you know that's really chocolate syrup because you're just that clever. Unfortunately, putting that background knowledge at the forefront of your mind is going to kill your fun super fast. Stop rationalizing everything. If you're over-thinking, you're not succumbing to your natural instincts. Going to a haunted house is one of those rare occasions where it's okay to be a neanderthal. Let your guard down. Get primal. Get scared. Otherwise, what's the point? • Respect boundaries. With the aforementioned tip being said, don't be a jerk or a perv. Do not touch the performers. Do not grope the performers. Do not say rude things to the performers. Do not ask the performers out on dates*. Do not shine your cell phone light in the performers' eyes. Do not throw anything at the performers. Do not touch the sets or props, except for the objects obviously meant to be touched. Blah, blah, blah...you passed kindergarten, right? Good. The Golden Rule. The end. • Take your time. Rushing results in missed fun. You'll miss out on great scares and awesome prop and set details if you run through the attraction. No matter how chicken you are, pinch yourself. Though the haunted house is real, the implied danger is fake. Walk through and take in the full experience—unless you know you're about to suffer a medical emergency, like a heart attack. In that case, call for help or follow the haunted house's procedure for being removed from the house. Some people interpret the “let your guard down” part a tad too seriously, but don't feel bad if you're one of them. At least you went into the house with the right attitude. Psst! If you're looking for a haunted house near QB HQ in Richmond, Virginia, we recommend Blood Lake in Midlothian. *At least not while you're in the house and, even then, you should probably just leave your number with the ticket booth attendant. Remember, the performer is working. Don't get him or her fired. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Word TroubleUN Women—the department of the United Nations “dedicated to gender equality and the empowerment of women”—has released a new ad campaign that is getting international praise for its supposed ingenuity and revelatory results. The campaign consists entirely of images of womens' faces with their mouths covered by a Google search bar and its automatic suggestions for completion. As you can see, the results are bad news: I immediately dismissed the value of the campaign for (what I thought were) obvious reasons, but it has since become a feminist and mainstream media story du jour. It was at this time I started mentioning the phenomenon to others in conversation, and realized that because Google auto-fills the most common searches, it is indeed being widely perceived as evidence of the world's all-pervasive, hardcore misogyny.
As someone who identifies as a male feminist, allow me to politely disagree. There are two primary assertions that this campaign rests the entirety of its argument/proposition on: 1) People type exactly what they believe into Google search bars. 2) Top results therefore reveal what significant portions of people believe. Let us take these two assertions for granted first, and see what we might learn about the world: It's Worse Than We Thought(?) As a man, I don't seem to be fairing that much better... The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Monday, MondayBy Belle Byrd QuailBellMagazine.com May this photograph of women preparing shells in WWII remind you what today is all about: working for the Man. But don't let the cycle of waking up and making enough money to pay rent get to you. Remember--Quail Bell's waiting for you when you get home. So is your cat (and maybe some old Swiss Miss you forgot about in your pantry, too).
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Only Days Before HalloweenBy The Sparrow Goddess QuailBellMagazine.com Like any poorly adjusted adult (and this is actually a compliment considering what "well adjusted" looks like), you're probably looking forward to Halloween with the fervor of a small child. Maybe you've had your Halloween costume set since LAST Halloween or maybe you'll wait until the day of to rummage through your closet/pantry/doghouse and throw something together. Either way, your challenge this week, Quail Bell(e)s, is to NOT think about Halloween. Just clear it out of your mind and focus on the present. Meditate, eat only green vegetables—do whatever you've got to do. This might be particularly difficult if you work at a party store or an elementary school, but the whole Quail Bell Crew has faith in you. Don't let us down. Because quail zombies are a real thing.
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Glitter and GrimeBy Kay Feathers QuailBellMagazine.com Loiterer. Good-for-nothing. Get a job. Stop spending all your money on concerts. Get rid of your tattoo.
Do these criticisms sound familiar? Are they often shouted at you by total strangers as you crouch in the shadows behind your favorite greasy spoon or record store? Then you just might be an alley punk. Check out these 5 signs and diagnose yourself: 1. When you need a smoke (always), you troll the backstreets for cigarettes whose previous owners forgot to put them out. 2. You pull your latest fashions from the dumpster and go. Paris, eat your heart out. 3. You never eat a meal that costs more than the change you picked out of the sofa on the side of the road. And, yes, you know ramen can be cooked over steaming manholes. 4. Your favorite books are discarded books. In other words, the ones you find on garbage day. 5. You know more rats by face than people. And your knowledge of whisker varieties would rival a naturalist's. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Weekend Dance PartyBy Belle Byrd QuailBellMagazine.com Have federal government workers (or any workers, for that matter) ever been happy to wake up in the morning and smile at the sunrise? Until recently, probably not, or at least not very often. Our species is probably more nocturnal than many of us like to admit, especially with that whole Ben Franklin saying about rising early gnawing at us each time our alarm clock rings. Americans are supposed to be go-getters. We're supposed to want to conquer the day, the world. Sure, we sleep in on weekends, but during the week, we're regular beaver-bees.
Our country being effectively shutdown for two weeks isn't exactly a symbol of the American Dream of grit, hard work and productivity leading to success. But now feds across the land are jumping for joy because they get to return to the office and, um, get paid. This isn't the first time that the history of American government has shutdown and it probably won't be the last, either. Let's hope, at least, that such a thing won't happen again for a long, long while (even if a shutdown does mean more at-home time to scribble out your novel.) Whether you're fed or not, take this weekend to relax, celebrate, and reflect upon our nation's past and future. In other words, have a historically inspired dance party. You know you want to borrow a cat's pajamas or your great-grandmother's cloche hat. Go on. The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
One bunny, two bunnies, three bunnies...By Maureen O'Malley QuailBellMagazine.com Editor's Note: Truthfully, we are not sure how this submission qualifies as "imaginary," "nostalgic," or "otherworldly," but these rabbits are so damn cute that we couldn't NOT share this precious pile of fur and floppy feet. Consider it a gift, Quail Bell(e)s. |
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