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Glitter and Grime
By Kay Feathers
Loiterer. Good-for-nothing. Get a job. Stop spending all your money on concerts. Get rid of your tattoo.
Do these criticisms sound familiar? Are they often shouted at you by total strangers as you crouch in the shadows behind your favorite greasy spoon or record store? Then you just might be an alley punk. Check out these 5 signs and diagnose yourself:
1. When you need a smoke (always), you troll the backstreets for cigarettes whose previous owners forgot to put them out.
2. You pull your latest fashions from the dumpster and go. Paris, eat your heart out.
3. You never eat a meal that costs more than the change you picked out of the sofa on the side of the road. And, yes, you know ramen can be cooked over steaming manholes.
4. Your favorite books are discarded books. In other words, the ones you find on garbage day.
5. You know more rats by face than people. And your knowledge of whisker varieties would rival a naturalist's.