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Drunken Rant, For Fuck's Sake, Wednesday Night
Writer: Helen Georgia Stoddard
Illustrator: Jude Strandquist
i taught the swedes now to dance to latin american music whilst they incessantly played their swedish hits and i walked home through the meadows and survived the rape rumours and made it to my flat safe and am througouly still so pissed and have resorted to eating haribo tangfastic gummiest cos they are my death and all i can do is eat them so there you go i will eat sour gummies until i leave the uk so if you cannot deal with it somehow you should ignore my drunken rants and go on with your merry lives cos it isn’t my fault if i am a huge fan of haribo gummies, with tangfastic being in the lead. for fucks sake i have to go back and edit my typing way too often so bear with me, as i try and spell correctly cos grammar is so crucial to me. fuck all of you. i am going to make tea and eat digestives and fall alspeep. for rucks’ sake goddamnit i with i could tyep rgiht. see now i am getting too lazy to correct a thing. if i fuck up that’s your issue, cos you should follow as best you can. like if youre truly interetsted you will pay attention. see, even nw im stillf cukin g up and you can read this foc fucks sake i am going to just not correct anything nymore fucp fucks sake i still am and if you an follow this good or you cos i am no tmaking a single effort anmore mo fuck you amiercnis i am trying so gard to e coo and i am fucking fdrunk and i dma goo fucking lazy to amek an efoort an corret aything am i am still tryina dn this is felling quite fum co seben still am am correctin ahat i am saying and i wdont ant to so fucking hells fucneveryonth if you cannot undrsangd what i am saying then that i your roblem iall i want to do is talkning fucking talinf druunkinlgy an d if yo ucannot accept tah hen you can go fuck off cos i am helen adh helen is me and i for fucks dakw e cannot wite anyo reo i think y finger sare unnacttached to teh keyarod cos i cannot udertand s half o fwhat im saying naymore. in fatct i cam not even paying ateino to the scfreen anymore no rma i really apuingin attehinon to the key abrard. i am just letting flwo and good for tucking you if you can undrstand what i am saing for fucks sake if i am druk nothign makes esnese but if you can bear with me then for fuckins sake good job to you you are magnificent