She just wanted to live in a place that looked
pleasing, and tasted sweet.
Instead of a condo in Florida,
a cottage in a forest clearing—
some greenery and shade to quiet the mind.
Back to nature with a twist--
Some people like ivy growing over their roofs,
but she liked gingerbreading,
and the birds that occasionally nibbled,
when worms just didn’t suit.
The mint/chocolate trees that sat
next to the front door were especially good
when the estrogen pills just didn’t get rid of
the menopausal mood swings.
And on the whole, it just saved so much
time on holiday decorations.
always ended up begging for just five minutes peace.
And one day, along came something unexpected,
which greatly displeased her.
‘Ugly fat little imps crawling and
chewing all over my house.
They could’ve asked, but no, they
just jumped in and started devouring.
That’s the problem with kids these days–
no freaking manners.’
She’d always liked fairy tales, the dark maternal forest of
all those grimm stories.
But confronted with what could only be called
A disturbance of the peace,
she acted on the potential loss of her solitude.
And faced with the threat of having
to hire another contractor–
She convinced the parents of those little brats to send them to public school in the South Bronx, where they got the crap beat out of them, learned not steal other peoples’ food, and our nameless heroine lived out the rest of her days on a fantastic sugar high.