Poem: planet gazing for feelings, i.e. how did i get here by jacklyn janeksela

planet gazing for feelings, i.e. how did i get here

​By jacklyn janeksela ​
QuailBellMagazine.com

​i was feeling some kinda way
then it didn’t matter because you didn’t matter
because your body is a matter i can’t seem
to get my hands around & then you sort of
float away like one of those childhood
balloons from my childhood, the one
i let go nodding into an applauding sky,
a penned message: 
hello, i’m jacklyn, here’s where i live, please write me
​

& feelings are like that, asking for return, some-
times begging for it like a dogbone, a quick fuck,
a fresh, spotless piece of blank paper
 
i am still feeling some kinda way
about how the magic between
two bodies dwindle
into flecks of stone
that fall from my hands as i chip away
at a heart turned arrowhead turned head
puffing up like fish, like a blow-up doll,
like ego
& it pops like the sound
of the Earth when it tilts just a bit too much
from weight and bodies and feelings,
it lands in the back-
yard of my childhood, where i am lifting my face in the
direction of the Sun or Moon, up-
wards, forever anticipating the feelings
of a stranger attached to a gibbous
balloon