Poem: A Better Woman by Natalie Sierra

A Better Woman

By Natalie Sierra
QuailBellMagazine.com

​I’m trying, I really am
To better myself, to be a better woman
To remember to turn the dryer on its second cycle
Because it’s kinda fucked up but still works
Like me

Trying to be a better mother to three daughters
Two who didn’t have a father and
One who will never have to know that pain
Their individual needs drown out my daily
Thoughts until I’ve forgotten that book I wanted to buy
And got notebooks, tampons, diapers, and formula instead
Trying to be a better feminist
But my voice gets drowned out in the struggle of
Blonde hair and blue eyed pussy hat empowerment
And maybe my voice just isn’t as important
As I was led to believe
I’m trying, I really am
To be a better wife
And be as quiet as a houseplant while my husband sleeps
During the day, since he works at night
At a grocery store down the street
But I can’t quiet the dogs
And the baby is teething
And I’m drowning in laundry and homework
Dust and dishes in the sink
And tears, I’ve shed so many tears
Just shading my eyes from the sun I haven’t seen
In a couple of years
Since I read in a Cosmo
How I’m so bad at everything