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Gold Digging Dames
By Christine Stoddard
Starring Olivia Blackwell & Luna Lark
Portia and Louise thought they could swing it like high class dames--regular ladies--
with the right rich threads and clicking heels; those drawn-out As in words like 'far';
and a little knowledge of fancy literature, foreign languages, and history's little daties.
They'd hit the casino with their nouveau riche charm, wink at deep-pocketed men, and snack on caviar.
So they told their hairdresser to skip the hairspray and had their nails lacquered clear.
Then those two sneaky gals asked the dry cleaner what was sitting in the Lost and Found.
A couple hours of plucking and painting turned Portia into a regular Hollywood dear.
Louise nearly drowned in olive oil but ended up looking Country Club bound.
Friday night came and those birds put themselves on a bus.
When the Greyhound pulled into Atlanta, Portia and Louise strutted into town.
No cheap restos or bars for them; they wanted wealthy men with names like Oliver and Gus.
At the sight of a casino, they rolled right in, not expecting their plan to turn all muddy and brown.
Because two low-lives had thought just like the gals and prowled the casino in their best suits.
They talked the dames into their car, stole their pearls, and dumped them on the street like old boots.