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Poetry: Mud Want By Mari Pack

6/30/2019

Mud Want

Editors' Note: This poem appears in Mari Pack's new chapbook, The Description of a New World (Dancing Girl Press). It was also the subject of this poetry film we published last year.

The word gharam

in Arabic: a love that burrows, attaches,
dies inside. A love that can ruin,
will ruin.
I will tear this desire out by the root.

Caking mud on a face,
the mask of being honest. I’m finally
being honest.
It’s neti, neti
not you — but an echo. At least not yet.

  Grasping wet weeds
out of a reflection
puddles of pigment, murky and precise
  clearing like a curse-bed
  and I’m not better than wanting myself back.

  Meanwhile,

my father, a sage
blind man, third eye winding —
  tells me, “be kinder to my daughter.
She’s nostalgic for Samsara.”

  Intimacy
as an indictment. I can be crueler than this,

but if you stay long enough
  I will open like a flower.

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