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Satire: Survive the Post-Halloween Blues
How to Survive the Post-Halloween Blues
By Paisley Hibou
It's been over two weeks since Halloween. How are you coping? Do you feel like you just lost a lover but there's no way to resurrect him and have a hot zombie romance? Don't get depressed; get dressed--up!
Here are 5 ways to survive the post-Halloween blues:
1. Keep out your Jack-O-Lantern: He's smelling. He's rotting. But his sagging smile reminds you of your favorite day of the year. Only toss him if it gets to the point that there are more rat bites in his orange flesh than actual pumpkin.
2. Wear your costume to work: Make Fun Friday that much more fun with cat ears or a witch hat. Nix the tie, unless it's torn up enough to pass for post-apocalyptic. Ditto for the suit, unless you're an expert with fake blood. (That stuff's sticky and not in an endearing 'melted candy corn' sort of way.)
3. Hold onto your soundtrack: It doesn't matter if it's practically Thanksgiving; the time is always ripe for the Monster Mash. Rock out like a ghost or vampire. Then it don't matter if you ain't got no soul! Leave rhythm to mortals.
4. Visit your local graveyard: Nothing beats a picnic in a graveyard, or a charming stroll with your significant other as the crows caw the tune to “your” song. Bring a camera, take reference photos for ideas for your future headstone, and just have a blast...to the creepy, mossy past.
5. Eat blood and guts: Seriously. Just go to the butcher's and buy a goat heart. Then sink your teeth into it. Doesn't it feel like Halloween again already?
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