Test your Victorian tea party hosting abilities.
1. What's the first step you decide to take in planning your tea party?
a) Choose the size and theme of your event so you can begin brainstorming the particulars— right down to the last doily!
b) Call your great-aunt Lois? Halfway into the conversation, you realize she was born in 1933.
c) Kick back, relax, and play some Nintendo until your thumbs turn blue. Then check the cupboard to see if those vanilla wafers you bought last year are stale.
2. What sort of menu would you ideally choose for your party?
a) Scones, truffles, strawberries, sandwiches, tartlets, puffs, cakes, etc.
b) 1950s era Spam, Cheese Whiz, Marshmallow Peeps, and any other food product you can find in a vintage-looking package or container
c) Big Mac, large fries, diet coke, maybe one of those $0.50 apple pies...
3. What kinds of décor will you choose for the table and surrounding area?
a) Boughs of green, clusters of fruit, pearls, silk roses, pastel candles
b) Liquid-filled candle lights, a tinsel tree, and The Original Christmas Elves
c) A plastic tablecloth with snowman print from Target
4. What will you wear to the event?
a) A tea gown, clearly!
b) Bloomers and a cloche hat???
c) A Juicy Couture tracksuit
5. What sorts of topics will you discuss at the event?
a) Arts and culture, flowers, local social happenings
b) The Great Depression and wartime rations
c) Binge-drinking, sexual indiscretions, nail salons
If you answered mostly As: Were you raised in a history museum? Your skills as a Victorian tea party hostess would put most amateur re-enactors to shame. Dust off your straw hat and start taping that how-to video. Fame and fortune are only a buggy ride away.
If you answered mostly Bs: At best, you'd be a mediocre Victorian tea party hostess—not quite as wretched as a Jersey Shore cast member thrown into an Oscar Wilde play, but more like a mildly awkward and perhaps somewhat annoyed flapper trying to understand her grandmother's old-fashioned ways.
If you answered mostly Cs: You're a failure. Please transport yourself back to the 21st century and get in line at Starbucks immediately. Put down the Dickens novel and start playing Angry Birds instead.