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I Never Poop at Work
By The Sparrow Goddess
She was the girl your mother or your aunt or someone else obsessed with propriety expected you to be: clean, organized, well spoken, stylish yet conservative and one to go with the status quo. She dressed in J. Crew, but never chose bold colors, except occasionally bright pink, which she only wore in accents. Her hair was shiny, combed and usually worn back. Her make-up, though there, appeared nearly transparent. She mostly spoke when spoken to and always chose the right words.
One day, after the boss’s dog had taken a crap on the office floor for the third time that week, she started complaining about the smell and ended her whining with, “I never poop at work.”
“Ever?” I asked.
“Ever. That’s for my own toilet in the privacy of my own home.”
How uptight do you have to be to not so much as allow yourself to loosen your own bowels?
Little Miss Perfect Uptight.
I asked her what she did if she had diarrhea. She did not answer the question.
You know what I have to say about that? Shit wherever you want. Just clean up afterwards.
#Poop #Crap #Shit #Toilet #Bathroom #Bowel #Diarrhea #Gross #Ew #WTF? #Strange #Yuck