The Picture Apothecary: Creepy Kids
As we enter the holiday season, you're probably trolling Etsy, used bookstores, and thrift shops for evidence of a sweeter, more innocent time in history. You've been waking up too often with thoughts of Occupy Wall Street and Tea Party rallies swarming your mind. Both look like a washed-up prostitute first thing in the morning and, frankly, you don't remember where you put your wallet or even if whatever you got last night was worth $500.
So you keep wandering in search of relics of the past. But everything you find strikes you as grotesque. Why are all the pillbox hats crumpled? Why can't you find first editions that don't look like knock-offs? And why are the children in vintage postcards so damn creepy?
Take these ones, for instance. The children look like stunted adults who hate their hair, jobs, and paternal grandfathers. Their cherubic blush seems to stem from their day-to-day dissatisfaction. They are flustered, not overjoyed. Instead of having eyes full of hope, they have eyes full of ennui (okay, maybe the little boy has eyes full of perverse longings).
Since these children seem no happier than the kids of today, it's your job to zip them into Photoshop and paint smiles on their faces...literally. Otherwise, they'll never get into the holiday spirit.
So hop to it...and happy (early) New Year!
The Picture Pharmacist