Essay: My Mother's Child

Courage in High Heels

By Raquel Lynne
QuailBellMagazine.com

I’d sit on her bed every morning as a child watching her carefully apply her makeup. She’d line her eyes meticulously and her brows were always of the perfect arch. One by one, she’d remove her pin curls that she created the night before. Each one fell beautifully, brushing her high cheek bones and long neck.  Perfectly lined lips and red lipstick adorned her flawlessly shaped lips.  I’d sit with wide eyes, excitedly watching her, and silently praying to God that I would grow to look like her.  

She’d kiss me and my dad goodbye, grab her purse and hurry out the door to work. She always wore stilettos, her legs perfect, and her body shaped like a pageant queen's.  I’d hear her pull out of the driveway, and then to her vanity I would run.  

I’d apply everything to my face just like she did: eyes lined, brows perfected, lips shaped nicely. I’d wander around her dressing room looking for the highest shoes to put on.  I’d stumble, almost fall, but my determination kept me steady.  Back to the vanity to fix my hair, put on her pearls and diamonds. I’d smile big at how amazing I thought I looked, for I knew I looked like my mom, a lady of sophistication.

I didn’t exactly grow up to look like my mom, but my makeup application is exactly like hers.  My craving for pearls borderlines on addiction. My vanity is arranged exactly like hers.

It’s funny, but true, how much of what we see our parents do we mimic and carry into our adulthood. For those of us raising children, we must always be mindful of their curious eyes constantly upon us—watching our responses to situations, and how we communicate and treat others. Trust me, I know it’s not always easy; I’m guilty of dropping the f-bomb to drivers who cut me off at intersections. However, when I regain composure, I am quick to apologize and explain what happened.   

Growing up my mom would always tell me, “Walk with your head held high, chin up, and back straight. Show the world how beautiful you are inside and out. Step out and be courageous."  She’d continue, “Oh, and Raquel keep practicing how to walk in stilettos. It’ll make your legs look perfect."  I swear that in my mid-40’s I am still working on the latter, which my mom finds that amusing, but I remain determined.  

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#Motherhood #Daughter #Family #Relationships #FirstPerson