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Cyber Bullying
By Gillian Ludlow
QuailBellMagazine.com
During 1982 in Haverstraw, New York, James Talamini would play with a 10-year-old boy named Jose, whose family was from Puerto Rico. At that time, James said he didn’t know any better; he just played with Jose because it was someone to ride bikes with and James liked him.
One day, when James came home from school, he was on his way out the door to Jose’s when James’ mother told him that Jose had had an accident and that they wouldn’t be able to ride bikes anymore. It was only a few years ago that James found out the truth about Jose.
Jose hanged himself. He was the victim of bullying because he was not white or American and had a stutter.
After seeing everything on the news, such as the rise of adolescent suicides, James decided to take it upon himself and do something. James' aunt, who is a recently retired superintendent of schools in Billings, Montana, encouraged James to do research about cyber bullying and bullying. "I called school districts all over the country who have had success in cutting down on the instances of bullying," James said in a phone interview. "So I just started to do this on my own. On my own dime, on my own research, just because I was done. I didn't want to see another kid freaking commit suicide because they were getting picked on." James started going to the schools on Long Island, New York, to talk to the administration. A lot of the officials told James that they already had policies in place such as the student code of conduct - which students have to sign at the beginning of the year. According to James, most of the policies are just in place so that schools are protected. James’ wife, who is a teacher, sees this a lot. Schools are not proactive, they are reactive. Schools will only do something if one of two things happens – a kid commits suicide or if a lawsuit is brought against the school district. James feels that bullying and cyber bullying stems partly from a lack of parenting or awareness at home. “I am a television guy, I did 15 years in television. For me, there isn’t enough violence on television. I love violence,” James said. “There is no reason when I pay for cable, I shouldn’t have anything bleeped or blurred. I want it all. Me and my wife, I believe, are good parents. My kids aren’t up until 10 o’clock at night watching television. If there is something they want to watch, we monitor it if we think it’s something that’s borderline that they shouldn’t be watching, we’ll watch it first. But the problem is, most parents don’t do that. They have the ratings on shows from 8 o’clock and on for a reason. Kids shouldn’t be up at 9 or 10 o’clock watching half the stuff that’s on television … It’s a combination of things. Kids are watching stuff that they shouldn’t be watching and they’re seeing a lot of stuff on the Internet. Last night, I put my kids to bed and I played Grand Theft Auto IV. I enjoy running and ripping people out of cars, smashing cars, cops chasing me and shooting people. It’s a video game. The problem is that they’re letting little kids play this stuff. The parents aren’t explaining to them, ‘Look if you stole a car in real life, you’re going to jail …’ There is no disconnect … They become very desensitized from what’s going on in real life.” James believes that cyber bullying is relentless. He recalls going to school in 1982 where two boys picked on him every day. But James knew that at 2:30 p.m., he could go home and play with his real friends and he wouldn’t have to see or think about the bullies until the next school day. In today’s world, cyber bullying has become aggressive. “Between Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook, email, it’s just a constant barrage that these kids are getting all day of the same kids picking on them,” James said. “ … They get bullied all day; at school, at home and it never stops. “ Schools in the area will often ask James to come and speak to students about cyber bullying or bullying. He doesn’t believe in self-promotion because he is doing this because he wants to reach out to kids, not make money. “When I go to the kids, I have a great reaction from a lot of the kids. I walk in and I introduce myself and I say ‘look, I’m not a doctor. I’m not a teacher. I’m just someone who gives a [sic]. I am just like you were, that’s all I am.' And then, I think, that gets their attention. I’m like ‘look, I just care. I am here to help you guys. I’ll give you my cell phone number, or you can contact me on Facebook. You need someone to talk too? I’ll help you.’”
#Real #CyberBullying #Activism #Support #Youth #Bullying #SuicidePrevention
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