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RVA News: A Tribute To Mental Health, Inspired By The Memory Of Brandon Robertson

6/30/2019

To the Man Who Wrote HOPE on His Hand

Content warning: suicide, self harm, ideation

Editors' Note: The writer originally posted this write-up on Facebook and we asked if we could publish it here. As a publication founded in Richmond, Virginia that still maintains strong ties there, we found it necessary to commemorate the life of Brandon Robertson for our readers. Brandon was a VCU alum, like many editors, writers, and artists affiliated with Quail Bell, now and in the past. We also wanted to bring up the importance of acknowledging mental health—because we will always make space for that here.

I have written this post in my mind hundreds of times already since Thursday.
I saw your post and had to be there.
Because I have been there, or close.
Before I got better. Before I knew there was a “better."
I have lived in the eye of the storm of mental health my whole life, but only knew the past 7 years. The past year and a half is the most “normal” I’ve been.

To live with anything related to mental health is like living in a tunnel with doors that could let you out, but it’s dark, so you don’t know there is a way out. You think the only path is this, since this is all you’ve known.
The voices of self hate echo loudly off the walls of our minds, where others can turn down the volume, ours seems to echo and amplify. And the difficult world we live in seems unbearable.
To the man who wrote HOPE on his hands, I understand you were trying to remind yourself that life has hope, it isn’t as dark as it feels. But some days it’s so hard to remember things will get better, when this moment is unbearable.
I barely knew you, but I feel like I failed you.
I hate when people say “they had so much to live for," “they were so happy though," those people don’t understand.
Every day is a battle. Folks who struggle do not think there are endless tomorrows. Often, all we can do is get through today.
Please tell your friends you love them. Care for them. Need them. Do not tell them to “reach out." If you have the energy, YOU REACH OUT.
Check in on friends you haven’t heard from. Comment on their socials sincerely.
Grab that cup of coffee.
Support their passion.
Take care of them.
Do everything you can.
Love is all we have.