Main Rules of a Time-Out in a Relationship
Sometimes, the last chance to save a relationship is to split up for a while. Such a pause can end with a final breakup or move you to the next level of trust and understanding. Everything depends on how the partners negotiate the terms of the time-out. Here are the basic rules of a time-out in the relationship. They will help you understand yourself and make the right decision.
Find out why you need this time-out.
It is necessary to do some introspection to understand from what you want to have a break. Do you feel that the relationship lacks passion? Do you get through a new stage in your life, like moving, or you are just not sure that you are ready to go further with your partner? It is important to be aware of whether your problem can be solved or not. If your partner absolutely doesn’t want to have children, but you dream of a big family, you don't need a time-out, it's high time to leave and move on. Do not take a time-out in the relationship just to postpone the breakup and spare the partner's feelings. If you have decided to take a time-out, do it for yourself, not for the partner. If you feel tired, confused and unable to think adequately, you may really need time to make a proper assessment of the situation.
Discuss the time-out in person.
Since the time-out affects both of you, it's better to discuss it in person. The exchange of messages or phone conversation make it difficult to read non-verbal signs. It will be much easier for you to catch your partner’s reaction and make sure that you understand each other right.
Discuss the terms of the time-out.
Doing that, you should say everything clear and frank. Tell your partner why you need this time-out. Discuss whether you will stay in touch or completely exclude communication. The most important things are to discuss whether you will communicate with other guys and girls during this period and whether the fidelity remains an important condition. Another serious point that should be discussed is how to treat a time-out if you live together. Common things or a domestic pet will prevent you from truly relaxing from the relationship. Try to exclude all interdependencies during the time-out. The fuller the time-out is, the easier it is for you to abstract from the situation and get rid of its influence.
Do not set deadlines.
This can be difficult because it is not clear how long the time-out will last and when it will become definitive. However, you do not know in advance how soon you will make sense of feelings and what difficulties you will face. Time constraints will only lead to disappointment. The partner will blame you that you are not ready to make a decision. You will begin to feel pressure and blame for your own uncertainty. The only thing worth discussing is what each of you should tell your partner if something changes, for example, someone wants a russian women marriage. You will say everything when you make the final decision. Your partner will say when they realize that they are not ready to wait any longer and want to break up.
Use a time-out to know yourself better.
Do what you want and what you have lacked time for when you were together. Spend more time with a family and friends, find a new hobby. Just stay alone because it is not always possible in the relationship. There is a difference between the states when feeling uncomfortable without a specific person or simply without being a part of a couple. A time-out in the relationship is a good time to feel this difference. Ask yourself whether fear of loneliness is a good reason to be with someone. If a time-out in a relationship has become a taste of freedom for you, it's time to think whether it is worthwhile to be with an unloved person.